The Things I Will Do in a First Contact Situation
If you had to set poilcy for rules of first contact w/ alien life what
would they be?
1. If any member of the contact team disappears for unknown reasons
and then reappears acting in a strange manner, I will assume an
attack and prepare accordingly.
2. I will not assume that because they are more advanced in matters
technological they are therefore more advanced in matters moral.
3. My troops will be out of sight and instructed to fire only on
a direct order or if they are fired upon.
4. After the disasterous first contact which resulted in much death,
I will not invite them to the capital in order to clear up the mistake.
5. If the aliens are slaughtering people somewhere else, I will regard
any sudden peaceful overtures to me with appropriate skepticism.
6. The phrase "peaceful coexistence" when used by an alien can be
translated as "War, Earth Boy" and will be responded to accordingly.
7. I will pay close attention to the alien's dietary habits, their
reproductive process or any other biological factor that can
result in me being eaten, implanted or dissected.
8. Any pansy who whines about the aliens being "Just misunderstood"
after they've blown up New York will be shot. If they've just
blown up Pittsburg, we'll give them a second chance.
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Last messed with: 4 April 2008